shalimar: (Default)
Bad habits... Aside from the fact that I really don't like to admit I'm wrong? I can't think of any. Okay to a fault I can be a bit overconfident, but really that's not so much a habit as a flaw. Let's think about it though really, a habit that I have could be that I can't seem to break? Should I take a poll maybe? I mean Emma might know something really annoying that I do.

Maybe I grind my teeth at night? Though I never heard a complaint. I don't smoke, or drink in excess, so those normal vices tend to not fit the bill. The sex thing? Yeah that'd be really nice to have as a nasty habit, but when your bedroom is in a highly secured facility that really you can't just have people doing the walk of shame in the morning? Tends to cut down on the social activity so to speak.

So let's really go deeper. None of this surface stuff because that's what everyone has. Those ticks and nervous things that really everyone tells you are bad for you, but you do them anyway. Like Jesse and his coffee addiction, and Brennan and being annoying. Emma well Emma is sometimes just a bit too optimistic, but again? Flaw not habit.

Habit is something you do everytime, like a compulsion and the only compulsions I can think of? Is that whenever I see Mason Eckart? I want to stab him. Repeatedly.

Really? That's not a habit I want to break.
shalimar: (Default)
Response to come
shalimar: (Default)
Response to come
shalimar: (with Emma [names])
Family can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. To me? It's a word. My own father turned against me and really I suppose I can't fault him for it. Things had been changing and there isn't much you can do when something so dramatic happens to your daughter. Still I would have thought that a word like family would have gone beyond those superficial things. I guess that is where I was wrong. It hurt more back then though. I have grown a lot since that day and I know that I am better off without whatever family that was to me. Blood and genetic material has little to do with that term if you ask me.

I think the definition to that word changed for me a lot recently. Family should be the ones that are there for you when it feels like no one else can back you up. Family is the people you go to when you have something amazing to share with them. Call it sappy or nostalgic, but it's the truth.

Sanctuary is my home now, and Adam, Jesse, Emma, and Brennan are my family. It's the only one I would want anyway.
shalimar: (Default)
Response to come
shalimar: (Feral HOTNESS)
So this is how it is. There are a lot of things that you really can't explain, and trust me I am not the one to go and explain them all to you. Here's what you should know though. Genomex isn't as good as advertised. All those great fertility drugs they offered your parents back in the day probably ended up doing more harm than good. Sure they got happy little bundles of joy, but take a closer look and you might notice that not all of us are perfect examples of genetics. Okay so now I have you all thinking that I have seven toes or something, but trust me my feet? Perfectly formed. In fact I have pretty good reflexes and let's say my feet are usually the first place I land.

Either way I just thought I should let you all know that you can't trust everyone, and you can't trust what you hear either. Trust what you see with your own eyes, and take it all with an open mind. There are things that make everyone unique, and I am not about to go pointing out your flaws to the world. Know that you are never alone, and there is always a better option. Oh and don't go to Genomex. Not even for those cheaper prescription drugs, or miracle 'cures' you'll pay for it in the end. Not that I am some jaded ex-employee, but really I know what I am talking about.

Well right now you are scratching your head a bit going, alright just who the hell is this gorgeous blonde with the quick wit telling me all this information? Name's Shalimar Fox, and well you may or may not recognize the last name. My father is a bit of an industrialist to say the least. Not that I am spending my holidays at home, in fact I hope that I don't get a Christmas card this year. Still the name thing comes up every so often and rather than wait for the questions, there it is.

I am sure there are more than a few other questions, but unlike my friends Emma and Brennan, I am keeping more than a few things about myself to myself. I have a bit of trouble trusting strangers, and if you knew me you might understand why.

Oh and Proxy Blue, we'll find you and shut you down eventually. Give me time, give me time.

to be posted in [livejournal.com profile] introtofandom
shalimar: (Profile Stoic)
Somehow I have a feeling that if I tell you this happens more often that I actually expect it to most of you will laugh. It just feels like most of my life occurs in these sixty minute bursts. There is always something to do, someone to save or protect. Something to break into and really the timing is generally a big problem. There just isn't enough time to do half the things people want to do in their lives, and yet we waste most of the free time we actually have doing the most petty things.

Like this journal. Let's just say for hypothetical cases that these are my last sixty minutes. That would mean that at two-thirty-four in the morning I would be dead. Emma would wake up the next morning to bang on my door only to find me dead at the computer, or maybe even in my bed reading. Okay so I don't really read in bed, but I bet Adam would like to think I did. Still that's a big thing to digest. Sixty minutes and I'll be gone.

So let's just say I had a normal life. I would probably go find some guy that turned me down all those years ago for a dance at the Prom and laugh at him for missing his Golden Opportunity. I'd go find my parents tell them that I love them, and then spend whatever time I had left with the people that actually mattered to me. My friends, like Emma and Jesse and Adam. However I don't have a normal life. I don't worry about someone forgetting to mail me a credit card statement on time. Instead I have to worry about everyone else. I have sixty minutes to live and I already know that it isn't enough time. Whatever situation I am in that would leave me with those sixty minutes is probably one that affects everyone near me, a bomb or even toxic gas. I'd have to save everyone else first. Make sure that they are safely away from whatever is causing my sudden demise and hopefully they can just wait it out.

If it's just some random thing though? Fuck that. I'd rather have control over myself, and my own death. Emma and Jesse might never forgive me but if I have sixty minutes to live? I'll take five and say goodbye to them, and just end it on my own terms. No crazy firing squad or liquifying of my internal organs. Just me and the peace of mind that it was my own choice.

I've lost a lot of control over my life in the past, you can't take my death away from me.
shalimar: (Default)
Response to come

Emma

Feb. 4th, 2006 12:03 am
shalimar: (Side Eyebrow/Smirk)
Well I just swung by Jesse's room? Looks like the little punk took off again. You know I swear I am half tempted to just hog tie him to a chair or something, but at least he left me a note this time. Something about an emergency? Well you know he loves the cryptic. So help me though if he is off with that Pierce woman again I will personally go and cut her throat or something as extreme. If fact the topic this week? That whole what would you kill for? I don't even think I need a reason with Lexa Pierce. Just point me in her direction and she'll pretty much be dead.

So anyway, looks like it's just you and me again keeping the Sanctuary Home Fires burning. Well Adam too, but well you know how busy he is with all that science stuff. Proxy Blue is offline, and so that's pretty much all that we had to do around here. Maybe we should start to harrass some of these people around here for fun. I mean 12 hours of nothing to do around here, and really I am starting to get a bit stir crazy. We should head to that island again.

Anyway, let me know if you think of anything. Or a way to kill Lexa and get away with it.
shalimar: (Profile Stoic)
Kindred spirits. It's a phrase I don't use too lightly. I don't take it lightly either, but I do know that it does exist. At least for me, at one time. That was the passion that I wanted to hold onto, but it just wasn't there for me. It could be that it's out there again, but for now I just like to remember that I was lucky enough to have that kind of a feeling in my life, even if it it was fleeting.

The very definition of the word can be bent into a countless number of things, but passion at it's root is just overwhelming. It is the type of thing that can take hold of you and hold you down regardless of how hard you fight against it. At the end of it all it's still there reminding you again that this is exactly what you wanted.

I don't think anyone can say that they wouldn't want to experience passion of any kind either. It isn't like it should all be relating back to something sexually charged, although that is a nice way to look at it I just think that it can cover such a broader spectrum is all.

You can be passionate about model cars for all I care about, just as long as it is something that gets you up in the morning and makes you want to do something with your life. To me? That's all you need. Something or someone that drives you to do better, to succeed where you failed, or just to do something more. Might sound simple, or basic but it's the most complicated thing if you really think about it.
shalimar: (Feral HOTNESS)
Soundtrack for : Shalimar Fox // Mutant X

Songs in the Key of X

01 - "Attitude" by Alien Ant Farm - Lyrics )

02 - "End of the World News" - Tom McRae - Lyrics )

03 - "Ordinary" - Train - Lyrics )

04 - "Fast As You Can" - Fiona Apple - Lyrics )

05 - "Untouchable" - Garbage - Lyrics )

06 - "Skin Receiver" - Auf Der Maur - Lyrics )

07 - "Persona" - Blue Man Group - Lyrics )

08 - "Heat of Your Love" - Institute - Lyrics )

09 - "6 Underground" - Sneaker Pimps - Lyrics )

10 - "Falling From the Sky" - V.A.S.T. - Lyrics )

11 - "Zero Mechanism" - The Used - Lyrics" )

12 - "Dressed in Black" - Depeche Mode - Lyrics )

13 - "Meathook" - Tracy Bonham - Lyrics )

14 - "Femme Fatale" - Ours (original by Velvet Underground) - Lyrics )

15 - "Dangerous Type" - The Cars - Lyrics )


I was contemplating just copying the playlist I have on my iPod that says Shal'll Kick Jesse's Ass, but I felt bad for the kid. I just saved over his most recent saved game of Perfect Dark Zero with a brand new character. Sorry Jess, it was an accident I swear. Anyway, most of these songs are just things that spark a memory or two when I listen to them. The last one on here Jesse suggested to me, but that was before he found out I saved over his game.
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